Perfected in Love: a bit of my story and some ramblings

I grew up in a church that taught that in order to be pleasing to God, each person should "leave their gifts and the door and not expect to never be used in them again but rather to find out what the church currently needs and joyful do those things instead." They taught that it was pure self-promotion to take action and initiate anything that wasn't originated and sanctioned by the church staff. I was also told that I coudn't lead worship for the youth group unless I stepped up my committment to the church and stopped the band that I had started of my friends from the church who enjoyed playing worship music together at various youth groups. Needless to say, this church inprisoned the gifts I was given by God for His kingdom and only allowed me to build the kingdom of their church.

I eventually broke free of this enslavedment, after about 8 years, thoroughly brainwashed that my gifts were to be hidden and never used by my own initiation. It was then on to the more charismatic side of the church. Through getting teaching on the prophetic, it was amazing to find out that God really cares about me personally and knows specifics about my life and about the lives of others around me. But eventaully I eneded up in slavary again, this time not to a group of men but to the mindset that the only activities with eternal value had to be initiated and maintained by clear, tangible direction from God; if He didn't clearly speak and confirm it, it was pure flesh initiating it. If one didn't hear otherwise, I believed the only position be to be was in a position of waiting and worship and prayer before God until He filled us with power and sent us out on a specific life's calling. If I ventured outside of this, I believed that I would be risking stepping out in my own flesh without God's blessing and found to be building my own kingdom. But eventually I grew tired of being stuck in meetings with other believers in a perpetual state of waiting but never taking action for the broken around us, and never taking action with the gifts I've been given outside of a small circle of people who all already know God. What God desires is that we not only spend time in His presence and worship and fellowship together, but that we also take serious action in the world so that His Kingdom can be spread. 

The scriptures say: "unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain" (Psalm 127:1 ESV). Noice, it does not say, "all laborers must stop building the house and watching over the city because it's really God who is building and watching." Rather, it stating the importance of faith and acknowledgement of God in every action, and that in one's own strength, all is vein. In fact, each of us is responsible to invest all that God has apportioned to us in order to hear those words, "well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master" (Matthew 25:21 ESV).

Beloved, God is calling his people to be construction workers and to begin to build the house of His eternal kingdom on the earth through whatever tools He has apportioned to each one. You do not need permission to use your gifts to either serve people around you or to provide for yourself and your family financially. Just remember, you can build all you want, but unless the Lord is the one building, it will be in vein. But just stay in touch with Him as you build, and make sure He's still in it, and you'll be just fine. God is searching for those who will take action with the gifts that He has given them and meet the broken in this world with the hope and love that are in Christ Jesus. He will go before us; He will make a way for us; He will empower us; He will clean up our messes and refine us; He will comfort and encourage us in His presence for He knows first hand that the battle is fierce. 

A law of physics states that for every action there is an equal and oppisite reaciton. In the same way, every encounter that the believer has with the living God must have an equal and opposite reaction outwards towards the broken. Intimacy should create action. Also, every action for the poor should drive us towards intimacy with Jesus. If one of these two pieces is missing, we will be missing the true heart of God; and He is whole reason for all that we do. The fact that many believers are still afraid of doing the wrong things shows that many have not yet been perfected in love; for perfect love casts out all fear, and fear has to do with torment. There is no more torment for those who are in Christ Jesus! This fact should set us free to take the risk of being wrong if only we can be with Him where He is; and I'm pretty sure we'll often find Him amongst the poor and the needy. 

 

An undivided heart

         What a massive idol has been destroyed in the presence of the Lord that was in my heart; I was completely blind to its presence and reign in my life. I never dreamed that "passion for God" could actually become a lethal idol in one's heart when it subltely begins to take the glory and become the identity of the child of God. Only when I was thrust into an extended season wherein I was forced to learn discipline and structure, and everything that I most despised, was I able to notice the feirce stronghold that zeal and passion and radical activity had in my heart. The more I gave into discipline, the fiercer the battle became, and who would win? Zeal was crying out to tear free of the bonds of discipline, but discipline patiently marched forward like the ticking of clock, moving my soul a day at a time towards true wholeness and maturity(much more of which is sure to come). I honestly thought that I was compromising who I was and living against the will of God to "give in" and focus on normal everyday necessities that are all passing away. 

        This is not to say that passion and zeal and radical living is wrong, I'm merely stating that it becomes disfunctional when it becomes a person's identity - when a person finds their value before God in the spiritual activities that they are involved in. Even Jesus Himself returned the desciples excitement at spiritual power and success with the following: "Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven" (Luke 10:20 ESV). In fact, all the gain that we have in any area is counted as dung compared to the surpassing worth of knowing and being found in Christ. 

        I believe that one of the major roles of the Holy Spirit is to unite our hearts, as the the psalmist writes so beautifully in Psalm 86, "Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name" (Psalm 86:11 ESV). He wants each and every person's heart to be united, meaning not split into any extreme of over zealousness or extreme conservative discipline. Rather, He would that our hearts were united within us to fear God. As Solomon, who asked God for Wisdom above all else, stated, "In my vain life I have seen everything. There is a righteous man who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man who prolongs his life in his evildoing. Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself? Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time? It is good that you should take hold of this, and from that withhold not your hand, for the one who fears God shall come out from both of them. (Ecclesiastes 7:15-18 ESV). God is the source of our value as human beings; nothing that we do, whether spiritual or unspiritual can add or take away from our value before God. He valued us so highly that He sent His only Son to die in our place - now that's serious value! But then, it seems, that we, or at least I, spend much of time trying to figure out how to be this super hero valued person; I try to live up to the value God places on me, but that's missing the point. His value for us is meant to set us free to be able to living incredibly disciplined, incredibly passionate lives with His Kingdom bursting forth from the fibers of our being as we lean on Him. But God is faithful, if a person is beginning to find their value in their passion and zeal, He will surely tell them to go back to school or get a corporate job somewhere; but on the other hand, if someone is very disciplined and successful in the world and life, but lacking in true passion for the Lord, He'll no doubt tell them to sell all they own, give it to the poor, and live by faith as an intercessory missionary at IHOP. He does this to break us of our idols until only He remains in our hearts. Then we are free. Then we are walking in who we were created to be. Then we are living as Sons. Then we are becoming the Bride prepared for His return. 

        So I encourage you, kick agains the prics, meaning, don't fight against the season that God has placed you in to stretch you and draw you closer to Him. If it wasn't difficult, you probably wouldn't be gaining much from it; you would come out of the season the same as when you went in, and that would be a shame to go through all that and not gain the prize at the end of the race. So hold fast, keep the faith, be patient in tribulation, for surely He is coming soon. Amen, come Lord Jesus. 

 

Comments?

 

David Lewin

Christians in the shower

Have you ever prayed while in the shower? Absorbed in the comfort and heat of the steamy water. No obligations, perfect peace. Soon, the prayers turn from basic communication to cries of desire for the Lord and longing to do His will. Then they move to a desire to see the nations changed and a consecration of one's life to God in service and suffering for the sake of the gospel and to see ever sphere of society changed. After the prayers, and a few tears of emotion from such a deep prayer session, another few minutes are spent in the steam as the smell of cleanliness fills the room. After leaving the shower, the feeling of accomplishment and nearness to God is almost overwhelming.Although these are wonderful prayers and cries of the heart, it is amazing how many Christians can spend their whole life in their showers, or in other words settings that are appealing to the flesh, while praising God for endless hours; they leave with the feelings of great service for God but don't realize that nothing they have been asking for has actually been done though them for God's kingdom.

I too have been waiting for the moment when I will be able to step into my true calling, that glorious thing that God has prepared me for that will turn the world upsidedown. But along the way, I have had to get my life together and really discipline myself to work hard so that I could provide for my new little family. During this time of job searching, I ran into a full time elemenary school teaching job. Listen to this scenario and how glorious it is: I get to be with children all day who are amongst the most poor and broken of our society. They have extremely little money. Many of their parents are either devorced or, in one case, in prison for life! A number of parents skip parent teacher conferences. These children are dearly loved by God and need someone to pour into them. What a perfect, glorious calling.

Many would move to other countries to find situations like this to be part of. But, I must admit, this job was originally just for the money while awaiting my calling to fall from the sky like lighting. This job is so demanding and difficult that I seriously consider quitting every other day. I thought I could walk in a love on the students all day and be super encouraging and nice, but in reality, I must discipline them with strict classroom rules and procedures so they can learn the charater that they are lacking because of the situations they are in providing some hope of success in their future.

Not only is the job incredibly difficult, it takes all my time and energy and is apparently in the way of my true calling - so I've thought. I mean, isn't my calling supposed to be easy and fun and inherrantly give me a sense of pleasure and nearness to God. Maybe, but maybe God meant it when He said that only those who lose their lives will find them. Maybe taking up the cross isn't so full of divine excsisy for me after all.

In conclusion, God is calling His soldiers to step out of their showers - out of the settings where everything is perfect and nice and comfertable and to venture into the unknown territory of laying down their life for the sake of the gospel, which is as simple as doing things that aren't inherhantly enjoyable so that others can be blessed. The reward for such a lifestyle may never be recognized by anyone in this life; it may never be fun or easy or nice, in fact, it may even feel like death on cross. But then, isn't treasure in heaven of much more value than the fleeting pleasures of this age?

David Lewin