Sunday, May 6, 2012

Something is happening inside of me

Where to start. I have so much stirring within me. I feel healing and faith rising up in my body and spirit! Tonight God has lifted a heavy burden from me, and I feel alive. I'll provide a little background to help readers understand how profound of a work is taking place within me.

 

I went to school at the University of Colorado at Boulder and truly poured myself out there and "wasted" countless hours in prayer and worship and evangelism. I got to partake in God's heart for Boulder and ran with it. I communed with Him in the night hours as I prayed for the city along with many faithful brothers and sisters who believed that God would pour out His revelation of His glory to that city and bring salvation and redemption to that land. But though a long series of events, my heart was crushed and broken and imbittered and I left that city wiping the dust from my feet and in many ways leaving behind much of what I experienced in the Lord in that place and thus suffered GREAT loss. It has been three or four years that my heart has been in that state. It's like when you eat too much of something and get sick and throw it up; after that point it just makes you sick to even think about it. But tonight, as I thought about the possibility of moving a little north to be closer to the church where I lead worship in Longmont, I thought, "that would be cool because I'd be closer to Bouler, in fact, I could even live there if I wanted. That's exciting because I love Boulder. Part of my heart is there." People! Do you realize how profound that is?! My heart is being healed by the Lord of layers and layers of events that destroyed me from the inside out, and I'm remembering that place in Him where I'm alive and radical for the Lord and don't even have to think about it. Even if I don't move in or near Boulder or focus on ministry there in the future, I can now move forward into what the Lord has for me now without fear and pain! I can pursue the KIng of glory and His kingdom on this earth that is full of power and life from the dead, healing for the regular, lost, broken people of this world that do not yet know the life there is in Christ. Oh, glory to Jesus!

 

Part of what released this healing is a radical shift in my mindset prior to this thought about Boulder. I have always struggled with trying to determine what THE right way to live as a Christian is. I always ask God to reveal it to me so I can truly pour myself into whatever that looks like so I can really be successful in this life for Him. I have pursued many many avenues and variations of what I thought a successful Chrisian was. Every church, every movement, every person sees and does things very differently and emphasises different facets of who God is and as a person joins different groups, it's easy for the definition of success to change. But in the end, I'm coming to see and remember that it's knowing God, intimate knowledge of God and time with Him that can never be taken away. When I know the presence of the Holy Spirit and intimately know that God is near and His presence rich and tangible, I know beyond a shaddow of a doubt that I am achieving the very core of success for mankind which is to dwell with God and partake of the tree of life. Let's pursue our great God and fill our lamps with oil and thus be ready for Him when He comes.

 

Priase the Lamb,

 

David