An undivided heart

         What a massive idol has been destroyed in the presence of the Lord that was in my heart; I was completely blind to its presence and reign in my life. I never dreamed that "passion for God" could actually become a lethal idol in one's heart when it subltely begins to take the glory and become the identity of the child of God. Only when I was thrust into an extended season wherein I was forced to learn discipline and structure, and everything that I most despised, was I able to notice the feirce stronghold that zeal and passion and radical activity had in my heart. The more I gave into discipline, the fiercer the battle became, and who would win? Zeal was crying out to tear free of the bonds of discipline, but discipline patiently marched forward like the ticking of clock, moving my soul a day at a time towards true wholeness and maturity(much more of which is sure to come). I honestly thought that I was compromising who I was and living against the will of God to "give in" and focus on normal everyday necessities that are all passing away. 

        This is not to say that passion and zeal and radical living is wrong, I'm merely stating that it becomes disfunctional when it becomes a person's identity - when a person finds their value before God in the spiritual activities that they are involved in. Even Jesus Himself returned the desciples excitement at spiritual power and success with the following: "Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven" (Luke 10:20 ESV). In fact, all the gain that we have in any area is counted as dung compared to the surpassing worth of knowing and being found in Christ. 

        I believe that one of the major roles of the Holy Spirit is to unite our hearts, as the the psalmist writes so beautifully in Psalm 86, "Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name" (Psalm 86:11 ESV). He wants each and every person's heart to be united, meaning not split into any extreme of over zealousness or extreme conservative discipline. Rather, He would that our hearts were united within us to fear God. As Solomon, who asked God for Wisdom above all else, stated, "In my vain life I have seen everything. There is a righteous man who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man who prolongs his life in his evildoing. Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself? Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time? It is good that you should take hold of this, and from that withhold not your hand, for the one who fears God shall come out from both of them. (Ecclesiastes 7:15-18 ESV). God is the source of our value as human beings; nothing that we do, whether spiritual or unspiritual can add or take away from our value before God. He valued us so highly that He sent His only Son to die in our place - now that's serious value! But then, it seems, that we, or at least I, spend much of time trying to figure out how to be this super hero valued person; I try to live up to the value God places on me, but that's missing the point. His value for us is meant to set us free to be able to living incredibly disciplined, incredibly passionate lives with His Kingdom bursting forth from the fibers of our being as we lean on Him. But God is faithful, if a person is beginning to find their value in their passion and zeal, He will surely tell them to go back to school or get a corporate job somewhere; but on the other hand, if someone is very disciplined and successful in the world and life, but lacking in true passion for the Lord, He'll no doubt tell them to sell all they own, give it to the poor, and live by faith as an intercessory missionary at IHOP. He does this to break us of our idols until only He remains in our hearts. Then we are free. Then we are walking in who we were created to be. Then we are living as Sons. Then we are becoming the Bride prepared for His return. 

        So I encourage you, kick agains the prics, meaning, don't fight against the season that God has placed you in to stretch you and draw you closer to Him. If it wasn't difficult, you probably wouldn't be gaining much from it; you would come out of the season the same as when you went in, and that would be a shame to go through all that and not gain the prize at the end of the race. So hold fast, keep the faith, be patient in tribulation, for surely He is coming soon. Amen, come Lord Jesus. 

 

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David Lewin